FW: 9 Things I Hate About Everyone

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?


7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?


9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

*** Forward this to at least 5 people and see what comes on your screen, you will laugh your head off!!!!!!! This works. I don't know how...

FW: Where Is The Rake? ... Classic

I was working in the garden this weekend and my wife was about to take a
shower. I realized that I couldn't find the rake. I yelled up to my wife,
"Where is the rake?"

She couldn't hear me and she shouted back, "What?"

I pointed to my eye, and then I pointed to my knee and made a raking motion.

Then my wife wasn't sure and said "What?"

I repeated the gestures. "Eye - Kneed - The Rake"

My wife replied that she understands and signals back. She first points to
her eye, next she points to her left breast, then she points to her
backside, and finally to her crotch. Well, there is no way in hell I could
even come close to that one.

Exasperated, I went upstairs and asked her, "What the hell was that?"

She replies,

Scroll on - it is worth it, I promise!












"Eye - Left Tit - Behind - The Bush" !!!! -