Thursday, February 23, 2006

Hormones?

>> The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
>> man has to do is open his mouth, and he takes his very life into his
>> own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a
>> driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or
>> significant other.
>>
>> DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
>> SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
>> SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
>> ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>>
>> DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
>> SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
>> SAFEST: Wow! Look at you!
>> ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>>
>> DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
>> SAFER: What did I do wrong?
>> SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
>> ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>>
>> DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
>> SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
>> SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
>> ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>>
>> DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
>> SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
>> SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
>> ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
>>
>> 13 Things PMS Stands For:
>> 1. Pass My Shotgun
>> 2. Psychotic Mood Shift
>> 3. Perpetual Munching Spree
>> 4. Puffy Mid-Section
>> 5. People Make me Sick
>> 6. Provide Me with Sweets
>> 7. Pardon My Sobbing
>> 8. Pimples May Surface
>> 9. Pass My Sweatpants
>> 10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
>> 11. Plainly; Men Suck
>> 12. Pack My Stuff
>> And my favorite one...
>> 13. Potential Murder Suspect
>>
>> Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.
>>
>> Another thing to giggle about...My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds.
>>

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