FW: Southern Grandma

>> > Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a
>> > question if they aren't
>> > prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern
>> > small-town prosecuting
>> > attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly,
>> > elderly woman to the
>> > stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
>> > you know me?"
>> >
>> > She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.
>> > Williams. I've known
>> > you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've
>> > been a big
>> > disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your
>> > wife, and you
>> > manipulate people and talk about them behind their
>> > backs. You think
>> > you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to
>> > realize you never will
>> > amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher!
>> > Yes, I know you."
>> >
>> > The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,
>> > he pointed
>> > across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know
>> > the defense attorney?"
>> > She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.
>> > Bradley since he was a
>> > youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
>> > drinking problem.
>> > He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and
>> > his law practice is
>> > one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention
>> > he cheated on his
>> > wife with three different women. One of them was
>> > your wife. Yes, I know him."
>> > The defense attorney almost died.
>> >
>> > The judge asked both counselors to approach the
>> > bench and, in a very quiet
>> > voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if
>> > she knows me, I'll send
>> > you to the electric chair."